Just a quick note … Here’s the cover of my new book, which is scheduled to release this fall! I can’t wait!!

Last January, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Tim Challies on the topic of my book, which is slated to be released on (or about) October 1, of this year. Since then many women have contacted me after discovering that their husbands are addicted to porn and they are looking for answers.

If you are looking for help in this area, I want to give you one piece of important information; my book now has an official title. (This was not the case last January and “Mosaic Heart” was just the working title.) The title you will want to be looking for is When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography ~ Healing for Your Wounded Heart. New Growth Press is publishing my book.

Here’s what you can look forward to …

My prayer is that you will focus your eyes on the God of Hope, rather than basing your hope and happiness on your husband’s choices. Learning to allow God to meet your greatest needs is a long and learned process, probably longer than the amount of time it will take to go through my interactive book. It’s a slow dance through brokenness in the arms of the Almighty. I know. I’ve been in your shoes and I’ve learned the intricate steps to finding Hope in the midst of a husband’s addiction to pornography.

As you work your way through the book, learning how to let God heal your heart, you will also be dealing with your damaged emotions and painful sexual experience—total healing.

More than anything, I want you, my reader, to know you are not alone or abnormal in your experience and the ensuing feelings that come with a husband’s choice to engage in pornography. I do this by providing true, first-hand accounts from 26 other women who have made it through or are successfully navigating sexual betrayal.

When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography is interactive, giving you ample opportunity to engage in Scripture related to the stages of healing your heart. Guiding questions and plenty of white space give you a place to process your own story and discover how what you are learning in When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography applies to your unique situation. As a result, you are able to redeem the pain of your own sexual betrayal in the wake of your husband’s pornography addiction, and embrace personal and spiritual growth.

photo © 2008 George Bannister | more info (via: Wylio)Second Timothy 2: 15 admonishes, “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.”This passage sums up one of the key themes in Paul’s letter to Timothy, that is that the “standard of sound words (2 Tim. 1:13)” must be retained-guarded.

In John 6:63, Jesus says, “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing; the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.” Jesus says His words will lead to eternal life as the Holy Spirit enables us to respond to the truth, but His words must be understood as He intended them to be understood.

If, as 2 Timothy 2:15 indicates, there is a right way to handle God’s Word, then there is also a wrong way to handle it. If there were any doubt that handling God’s Word inaccurately is a very bad idea, listen to 2 Peter 3:14-16, “Therefore, beloved, since you look for these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless, and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation; just as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given him, wrote to you, as also in all his letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.” One is wise to take to heart this cautionary tale; mishandling God’s Word leads to one’s destruction.

God can and will equip believers to do the things He calls them to do (Hebrews 13:21) including interpreting His Word. God created man to be in relationship with Him and that requires the ability to communicate clearly. Hence, God created man in His own image (Genesis 1:26-27), giving Adam intelligible language with which he could communicate with God, with other human beings, and he could understand God’s written Word.

Not only does God give us the tools we need to rightly handle His Word, He also gives us a message that is meant to be understood as He intended. Second Peter 1:19-21 says, “So we have the prophetic word made more sure, to which you do well to pay attention as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star arises in your hearts. But know this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation, for no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.” In other words, God had an intended meaning and the only interpretation that is accurate is the one He intended.

Unfortunately, we live in a “do what feels good” world. As a result, rather than seeking God’s intended meaning, too many practice eisegesis rather than exegesis. It should come as no surprise, that God foreknew we would be about this bad business and He gave us instructions in Deuteronomy 4;2 and 12:32, “You shall not add to the word which I am commanding you, nor take away from it, that you may keep the commandments of the lord your God which I command you. … Whatever I command you, you shall be careful to do; you shall not add or take away from it.” The Revelation closes with a similar command, “I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues which are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book” (Revelation 22:18-19).

So, God has given us His intended message, that is fully available to us, and can be interpreted with the gift of language He’s given to mankind. He has commanded us to handle His Word accurately, and He’s told us what will happen if we add to or take away from His Words … destruction. But the greatest resource He gives us for accurately handling the Word of God is found in 1 Corinthians 2:12-14, Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words. But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.” God has given us the Holy Spirit, by which we can attain the full knowledge of God and His will for us.

Handling God’s Word accurately is vital in our relationship with our Lord and Savior. It is a command, not an option. It leads to eternal life, not destruction. It is entirely do-able with the tools with which He has gifted us.

But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes,

He will guide you into all the truth;

for He will not speak on His own initiative,

but whatever He hears, He will speak;

and He will disclose to you what is to come.

He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.

~ John 16:13-14

photo © 2010 Abby | more info (via: Wylio)
Tim Challis pointed his readers (of which I’m one) to an article regarding the social cost of pornography. In light of all the research I did for my own book, I was at once pleased to see affirmation of my own research and the need for my book for wives of pornography addicts and disturbed anew by the fact that there is nothing pretty about pornography. This is an article worth reading. Please take a few minutes to be enlightened and then pass it on to others. We must continuously raise awareness about the devastating effects of pornography.

photo © 2007 Gareth Simpson | more info (via: Wylio)
I wrote the title of this post a couple of weeks ago and then somehow it ended up in my draft box. The funny thing is, I was sitting down to write today’s post and thought, I need to talk about asking questions … and there was my draft … complete with a title and no text. I think this post was meant to be.

I have the privilege of leading a group of women through the Antioch School of Church Planting and Leadership Development course called “Acts: Keys to the Establishment and Expansion of the First Century Church.” We put to use the Socratic method of discussion, which simply means, we ask the questions and wrestle with the answers. Yesterday, we processed through some particularly difficult questions and today my email inbox is filled with comments like this …

          Yesterday’s discussion was so good, it carried with me all day. Truly the highlight of my day. Thank you Vicki and ladies for the encouraging, stimulating conversation. My brain is growing. I can feel it!!:)

          I think our discussion today was very encouraging and each persons input was so valuable!

I have always been one to ask lots of questions. I’m pretty sure it started at a young age when I peppered my parents and grandparents with “Why? … How? … Who? … When? … Where?) This is natural for young children and many kids outgrow that stage to some degree, but I’m convinced it’s not a stage to be outgrown. We need to ask the questions, especially when it comes to Bible study.

The Antioch course I’m currently taking myself, as I pursue my MMin., is called “Interpreting the Word I.” I’m reading a ton of great material about how to interpret the Word of God. (I’m going to share some of the things I learn over the next couple of months! You get the fruit of my labor and you don’t have to pay tuition! Sweet!)

One thing I was reminded of this week is that when we are approaching Scripture, our #1 task is to pray for the Holy Spirit to illuminate the Word and then to take a humbly repentant stance toward myself and my past experiences and a receptive stance of faith toward the truth the Holy Spirit will reveal. I need to ask the question, “What concerns do I have about the text based on my personal past circumstances and from my cultural experiences?” Here’s the deal – we all have “stuff” that we carry around with us and it’s right there when we sit down with our Bibles. That “stuff” can blind us to what God desires to reveal in the text. On the other hand, that “stuff” can also make us more mindful of the text as we search for answers to pressing questions and concerns.

Ask the questions, my friend. Profess a genuine desire for the Holy Spirit to peel back the “stuff” and lay bare your soul, making it painfully clear when you are approaching the text with wrong thinking or attitudes resulting from past experiences.

Asking the questions opens the door for enthusiastic dialogue about tough subjects. (Reread the responses from yesterday’s Acts participants!) One of the brilliant minds in my Interpreting the Word course sent an email to the rest of the class. He was asking questions that caused us to think deeply. I’m going to share his questions with you. I’d love to hear your responses. You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine in my next post.

          I came across an ethical dilemma that I would like the brain trust’s opinion about. I see a potential conflict between 1 Cor 8 and 1 Cor 9. Let me set up three scenarios for you in order to elucidate this dilemma:

          Scenario 1: a Jewish Christian and a gentile Christian are coming over for dinner. Both are young in the faith. You are only able to serve one meal The Jewish Christian requests that you serve kosher food. According to 1 Cor 8, you should serve the kosher food lest you cause the Jewish brother to stumble. Yet you run the risk of moving the Gentile Christian toward legalism. With whom does your priority lie?

          Scenario 2: same situation, except this time the Gentile is an unbeliever. 1 Cor 8 says serve kosher food, 1 Cor 9 says become a Gentile to the Gentiles in order to win them to Christ. You’re concerned that by serving kosher food it may cause your gentile friend to think being a Christian means observing Jewish law. You can’t make kosher and non-kosher food. With whom does your priority lie?

          Scenario 3: same situation as 2, Jewish believer and Gentile unbeliever. Except this time the Jewish believer is your mom and dad. You’re told to respect your elders and thy really want kosher food, but you’re concerned it will cause this gentile to associate Christ with Jewish law. With whom does your priority lie?

Okay, friends, grab your Bibles and ask the questions. Do you feel it? I think your brain is growing!

photo © 2010 See The Holy Land | more info (via: Wylio)
This fall I had the opportunity to share a message with a group of folks down in Iowa. (That’s what people are called in the rural Midwest … “folks.”) I was teaching about what I affectionately dubbed “The Last Breakfast” from John 21. Check it out. It really was Christ’s last meal with His disciples.

While doing my research, I became fascinated with the Sea of Galilee. We hear about this sea all the time, but I didn’t realize exactly how often. You see, the Sea of Galilee goes by different names. The “Sea of Galilee” is the Roman name, and it’s the one with which we’re most familiar. However John, in his gospel, calls it the Sea Tiberias (John 6:1). Matthew, Mark, and Luke all call it the Sea of Gennesaret [geh NESS ah ray]. Gennesaret means garden of riches.

Are you keeping tally? That’s three … so far.

This lake didn’t just spring up in the New Testament. (Though it is partially fed by underground springs.) Nope, it’s mentioned several times in the Old Testament as well. In fact, Gennesaret is the Greek word for the original Hebrew name of the lake which was Chinnereth, sometimes spelled Kinneret because of the pronunciation (Numbers 34:11 and Joshua 13:27). The Hebrew word kinnor meant harp or lyre. If you notice, the shape of the lake is a little bit like a harp. However, Chinnereth also means “heart-shaped” or “place of the heart.”

That’s five, if you’re counting.

I really appreciate details like this. Place of the heart.

Did you know that eighteen of Jesus’ thirty-three recorded miracles were performed at Chinnereth/Sea of Galilee?

Did you also realize that it’s from this very place that He taught most of His teachings? He often stood in a boat on the Sea and spoke to the multitudes. If you’ve ever been in a boat in the middle of a lake, have you noticed how easy it is to hear people in a nearby boat? The water helps to project sound. I’m guessing that’s how thousands were able to come and hear Christ teach without an electronic amplification system.

In Matthew 28:7, an angel announces to the women at the empty tomb to “go quickly and tell His disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead. In fact, He is going ahead of you to Galilee; you will see Him there.’ ” Then in 28:16 the disciples hoofed it to Galilee. ”The eleven disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them.” The rest of the story picks up in John 21:1 “After this Jesus revealed himself again (the 3rd and final time) to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias, and he revealed himself in this way.” (insertion is mine)

I kind of think the Sea of Galilee (by whichever name you prefer) was a place of Jesus’ heart. What do you think?

Now, as you read through your Bible this year, keep your eyes open. You might be surprised to discover that you’re reading about the Sea of Galilee when you didn’t even know it.

A quick note to my friends here …

Today, I had my first interview for my book which probably won’t release until NEXT January. God is so good to have created this great opportunity to get the word out early. Funny how you can write an entire book about a subject and then be surprised by some questions and comments. I have much to learn about this publishing and promoting gig. Good thing I’m a scholar at heart.

Check it out if you have time … Vicki’s Interview for Mosaic Heart: Spiritual Healing in the Midst of a Husband’s Addiction to Pornography

photo © 2008 Tim Snell | more info (via: Wylio)
I am a planner by nature. I have lists everywhere for everything. Making a plan usually satisfies an itch I have to be organized and to accomplish things. However, I have to confess that for a long time, as I set goals for the new year, instead of actually developing spiriual growth plans, I’d list what I was already doing.My tendency was to shoot an arrow and whatever it happened to hit, I’d draw a circle around it, and call it my target. I know, I know … that’s cheating. What I really needed to do is make a plan, call it my target, and aim my arrow for that goal. Spiritual plans were long in demand, but short in supply.

This year, I’m going to do better. I’ve made two very specific spiritual growth goals, and I’m going to lay them out for you to see. You do know that this means everyone reading this post will be holding me accountable, right? Gulp.

Just as a balanced diet requires food from all of the food groups, a spiritual diet also requires variety. Robert Murray McCheyne’s “Bible Reading Calendar” was produced in 1842 for the members of his church in Scotland. It enables you to read through the Old Testament one time and the New Testament and Psalms twice in a year’s time. This plan is unique in that you begin on January 1 with the four great beginnings of Scripture, Genesis 1 (birth of creation), Ezra 1 (re-birth of the nation), Matthew 1 (birth of Christ), and Acts 1 (birth of the Early Church). This method allows you to follow the parallel lines of God’s unfolding purpose.

 In order to have the mind of Christ, we must marinate in the Scriptures. I’m making this my goal this year. to follow McCheyne’s plan.  

You can go to http://www.bibleplan.org to sign up for daily remembers of the passages you are to read for that day. Click on the option that says “New Testament & Psalms twice, rest of the Bible once in a year.” It will then take you to a page where you are able to choose your favorite translation, and they’ll email your reading to you daily.

 My second goal is to memorize Scripture. This is an area in which I’ve been sadly lacking. Past generations made it a priority to memorize God’s Word, but if we don’t remember a passage, we Google it. Ugh.

I was recently on another favorite blog (Holy Experience) and found a plan for memorizing the entire book of Colossians in one year by learning 2 verses a week. They’ve even built in review weeks. Hey, you can’t beat that! So, I’m on it. I’ve memorized the first 4 passages. Wanna hear me?

If memorizing an entire book seems overwhelming to you, choose something else, but CHOOSE SOMETHING! Here are a couple of resources for you:

Verse Card Makerhelps you create customized business sized verse cards for Scripture memory. Print out verses in the ESV and slip them in your pocket or tape them to your mirror.

First Letter of the Words Memorization Tool~ You type in a verse, click “convert”, then copy and print the text of just the first letters of each verse. Voila! You’re on your way to memorizing God’s Word.

These may not be the best plans for you, but you’d best have a plan in mind this year, because if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.

photo © 2009 Edd Prince | more info (via: Wylio)
We have a door frame in our house, on which I mark the heights of my children. We don’t necessarily have set times when we measure them. It seems like birthdays and the new year are good times to take measure, but we also measure them when we’ve noticed a dramatic season of growth. (In other words, we’ve had to restock their jeans and tennis shoe supply … again!)

2010 was a year of tremendous spiritual growth in my life. Like a physical growth spurt, I wasn’t aware of what was happening when I was in the midst of it – though I did experience some growing pains. It’s in hindsight … looking back at the last year, that I find myself caught off guard by the changes that have occurred. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not bragging here. I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve stalled out and even lost ground in my spiritual journey. I don’t take credit for this year’s progress on my own, as I know without question that the Teacher was behind the whole thing. I pray that He continues to see progress in my spiritual growth. (I wonder if he has a door frame for marking such things?)

I am absolutely passionate about spiritual growth and discipleship. I find my goals – whether they are for my speaking, writing, marriage, homeschooling, local church ministry, or  they’re personal – all revolving around growing in spiritual maturity. So this year, I’ve made a commitment to document what I’m learning in a more intentional way, and what better way than to blog about it. (I’ve been remiss about blogging for the last year. I think that the master’s degree in ministry, mothering, and writing the book caused a stumbling block for me. That’s my excuse, anyway.)

Every year I write ministry goals … what I hope to see God doing in my writing and speaking, though I hold these loosely since I know that “in his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). I’ve only set two personal goals for the year … to be mindful and to listen. Let me explain. I want to exercise mindfulness in several areas of my life. (No, I’m not talking about meditation, I’m talking about being inclined to be aware.) I want to be … 

• Mindful of what God is doing in, through, and around me
• Mindful of the time I spend with Mike and the kids – being fully present and not thinking of a million things on my “to do” list
• Mindful of my body being God’s temple – Am I drinking water, exercising, eating a healthy diet, and resting (D.E.E.R.)?
• Mindful of what I’m learning in my graduate classes and personal study time
• Mindful of what God is doing with the ministry

I also want to listen better. Let’s face it, most of us Type A personalities are adept at multi-tasking, and I confess … I often find myself only half listening to people at times – especially my youngest children. My window of time with my children at home is shrinking and, if I’m mindful of that truth, then I’ll take the time to stop what I’m doing and really listen. I also long to listen for that still small voice that whispers to me. What is God showing me and teaching me through His Word? Am I reading it to check it off my “to do” list or am I being intentional about listening?  I’d better be listening.

My blog this year will be devoted to spiritual growth. I have plans to write about what I’m studying and how I’m studying, what God is teaching me, and women in leadership. As I finished writing my book in November, God laid a new book on my heart. I’ll be unveiling that in the coming weeks as I take you on the spiritual journey I go through in writing Christian non-fiction. This new book is going to be based on Nehemiah, so I’ll be sharing what I’m learning as I study and do research.

Have you been experiencing growing pains? Have you stood up against a door frame later and taken measure of your spiritual growth? Now’s a great time to do that. Set some specific goals for how you desire to grow in spiritual maturity in 2011. I’d love to hear your plans and I look forward to sharing this journey with you.

A friend from church just asked for a good sweet potato recipe and I was about to send this to her. Then I decided to post it here instead. Recently, the Northland Words Players theatre group hosted a fundraiser in an English style home across from the Mayowood Stone Barn where we’ll be performing A Christmas Carol for the next 3 weekends. Seventy guests were invited to attend this English-style banquet complete with top hots and urchins. One of the dishes I brought was this Crunchy Sweet Potato Bake, and it was a hit! It’s’ not your grandma’s sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top!

3 pounds sweet potatoes (about 7 medium), peeled and quartered

2/3 cup sugar

1/2 cup milk

1/3 cup butter, softened

1 tablespoon candied or crystallized ginger (you can find this in the spice section of a nicer grocery store … not Wal-Mart)

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

TOPPING:

3/4 cup cornflakes, lightly crushed

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/4 cup chopped pecans

1/4 cup butter, melted

1. Place the sweet potatoes in a large saucepan  and cover with water. bring to a boil. Reduce heat; covera nd simmer for 12-18 minutes or until tender. Drain. Mash sweet potatoes with the sugar, milk, butter, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg.

2. Transer to a  greased 2-quart baking dish. cover and bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until heated through.

3. Combine the topping ingredients; sprinkle over potatoes. Bake, uncovered, for 5-10 minutes or until topping is lightly browned.

Yield: 8 servings … or more if you are serving a lot of other foods.